Blokes bloody LOVE gadgets. There's something about having something that will do something that doesn't need doing which appeals to a bloke. Like cleaning does for the Mrs.

One of them lawnmowers that operates by solar power and works it's way around your lawn by itself - blokes bloody LOVE that. Not because it'll keep the lawn down (after all, who gives a crap?) but because one day, if he's lucky it'll run over the cat. And he'll be outside watching at the time. You simply cannot buy a pub story that great! Which is why he also bought that solar powered video camera as well...

One of them things that you putt golf balls into and it fires them back at you. I mean blokes rarely play golf unless it's can-a-hole so accuracy in putting is irrelevant, but if you put on of those babies on a shelf at around head height and tell the Mrs' Mum that it's for storing car keys you'll avoid a long boring dinner while the Mrs takes her to the after hours emergency place. AND you've got another pub story to tell the mates - bonus!

A thing that goes over the arm of an armchair to store your remotes in, however, is not a gadget. That's an old-folks accessory. It can be made into a sort-of gadget though with a simple dousing with a petrol-based substance. Then it's a fire lighter. Mint!

Stuff that makes pointless noises is good too (the Mrs' mum excepted). Something that tweetles to let you know where the car keys are when it hears a high pitched noise like a whistle or a loud bird cheep, or the Mrs' mum with a face full of keys. Priceless. That way the Mrs doesn't have to ask you where your keys are and you don't have to say "Take your mum's car - the keys are right there!" Just a helpful tip for household harmony, that

Remote controlled crap is good too, like them helicopters you can buy at the cheapy shops. Course when you get the larger model and strap the solar powered video camera to it before sending it down the road to where that nice young student nurse lives, you're just asking for trouble, so try not to over think these things.

Caller-ID is good, but you really need something at your end that realises it's the Mrs' mum calling and cuts straight over to the answerphone - or better still, the electric fence.. Blokes are good at inventing stuff like that..

Stuff for the car is good too, like those GPS whodackies. You slap one of them in your car and then you know when you're getting dangerously near the outlaws place and it can tell you what turns to take to avoid it. Course if you bought one of them for the outlaws, then had a bit of a tinker with the insides, who knows, they may never be able to find their way back to your place. That's blokes for you - always thinking...

The main think about gadgets though is that they serve no real useful purpose apart from occupying the mind and making some good stories for the pub - like when the outlaws followed their GPS directions and ended up at a rendering plant... Talk about laugh! However, as soon as a gadget has a reliable and non-entertainment use it becomes a tool - then you have to go back to those late night ads and fielddays and stuff and look for the next great gadget that you can use for something funny.