Documentation of Bloke's Manners Follows:

The Burp
So you're chucking down Baked Beans and onions when a little bit of the brew gas pops out the top. A completely uncultured bastard would just ignore it. A True Bloke realises the potential social distress this might cause and staves off unhealthy suppression of revulsion by uttering something like "Better out that in" (A durable phrase used on many occasions), "That's a load off my mind" or "BEAT THAT!"

The Fart
Contrary to popular belief, a bloke doesn't simply fart. A fart is an unsculpted block of clay (literally, if you're not careful) that must be fashioned into a fulfilling experience for both the donor and the recipient. The exact amount of pressure to exert for the full sound value without the full pants overhead is a consideration. It's an art form. Whereas anyone can burp, not many people can weave a truly great piece of trouser craft. Leaning for pitch is permitted - so long as it's not gratuitous and/or doesn't involve hanging onto person beside you till the aftershocks subside.
When complete, a simple "Woopsy" is all that's required to excuse toxic effects of the noxious fumes. There's no need to apologise to everyone in the room.
A bloke might feel abliged to break the ensuing silence with a joke, a sheepish grin or simply by telling his Mrs that she should go outside next time..

Tactical Farting
A bloke may occasionally use the tactical fart to lighten an otherwise tense situation - like when one of the Mrs' workmates catches you looking down his wife's top when she bends over to pick up her handbag. (Go for the long breathy strangulated one - it's always a crowd pleaser) Should this fail to work then it's best to fall back in the arguement of art works in the public domain.
A Fart for all seasons
The type of fart is important in tactical farting. You don't use a sledgehammer when a chipping hammer will do, and as a general rule the loud fart is used to exit 'challenging situations' (i.e. when you're out to dinner with the Mrs' workmates and one of them starts telling you about how the electric stapler might be giving him RSI and you start wondering if the offal pit has room for an office worker), a small fart is used to divert attention to the Mrs (with the accompanying 'steady there love!'), and the strangulated drawn-out fart for general amusement. When you've got your Masters degree in farting however, your talent will be sufficient to permit you to 'push the fart envelope', so to speak. For instance, you're at a mate's wedding and the bit about anyone having any reason why these two, etc, etc... Maybe you pull out the strangulated drawn out number or just maybe you go for the thermonuclear explosion. It's your call. Readers please note that tactical farting should only be undertaken by a professional with years of seasoned practice. The blokes pages (and blokes in general) cannot be held responsible for the failure of a tactical fart to please, nor any mishaps which might happen to your person or clothing as the result of a poorly judged audience or pelvic push...

Body Odour

Blokes know they might be a little whiffy at times. It happens. That's why they keep a can of Brut 33 in the shed (by the rust penetrator), a can in the car and one in the bathroom cabinet.
There's also a case of it (a lifetime supply) in the back of the shed in a box marked "Rat Poison". Ironically. Brut 33, now sadly discontinued and only available on the Bloke's Black Market was the snake oil of the deodorant market. Or maybe, more accurately, the tar seal of the deodorant market. You could slap some Brut 33 over anything to tidy it up. So, maybe you're heading off to a mate's wedding and you accidentally step in some dog crap. You scrape it off, but there's still a lot of it in the tread, and there's no way you'll get it all clean before kick off at the church. What do you do? Just slap a bit of the old '33 on the laces of the shoe concerned and let the Brut magic do the rest. Sure, everyone at the wedding will be looking for the 80's lounge singer in the audience - but the groom's probably got some on to cover up the terror sweats anyway so you'll be sorted!!!.